I know it’s been a long time but in my defense this WiFi really sucks and seems to be getting worse as the days and weeks go by. This is no exaggeration either lol! Not to mention when I would complain about it being bad was back when I was able to post to my blog on a regular basis I‘d have to copy, paste and email my blog to myself and then copy and paste it on to my website from the internet server on my work computer. Well now I can’t even get to my website from my work computer ... the server is a hater lol!
They claim to be updating and improving it all the time but, for real it seems to be getting worse. It’s so frustrating because this is a healthy outlet for me. It allows me to get things off my chest and NOT bloop out on people.
.. moving forward..
Over the last month... it has been a struggle for me mentally to include being home sick again, having some vividly bad dreams, having a terrible attitude- to the point that I had to talk to my superintendent on some I don’t give a damn anymore type sh!t. Not being able to blog, not being able to talk to family and friends over the phone/ video as much... I HAD to start working out more, I HAD to refer to my bible more, and start isolating myself a little more.
What has helped me the most is reading my daily passages and bible. It truly helps me daily with my attitude. I know some of y’all are like well duh Tiffany... some of us get wrapped up in our Earthly lives that we forget that we have guidance, we have the key to happiness and authentic joy right in our pocket (pocket bible, holy bible apps on phones, etc), in our homes, our rooms, work space, etc. When I tell you though... smh it LITERALLY took for me to have a conversation with my second mom and business mentor to wake me up and bring me back to my guidance and
“my FATHER”... WOOOO!
Yo, she kept stopping me while talking (I really, despiiiiise that) and it was irritating the heck out of me!
BUT! I needed that!
She stopped me every time I’d say the word I. What I want, what I need, what I want to do, what I PLAN to do... the last time she interrupted me we just laughed, I was in tears and I said “ Ooohhhh, WOW! I get it, I’m seriously just NOW understanding what you’re telling me!”
I just sat there laughing and shaking my head. “Oh my God Mrs. Alma!!! Thank you so much.”
She then proceeded to say.. “Oh my dear I love you as always and i’ll talk to you soon.”
I felt defeated but so refreshed at the same time.
Because I felt so stupid, and actually ashamed!
Ashamed because I couldn’t believe that I had allowed myself, allowed my spirit and FAITH to waver for so long without referring back to what I know. So again yes,we get wrapped up in our own Earthly life that we tend to forget how we got to where we are in the first place. It’s just from the hard work you put in, it’s not because your boss or whoever sent you there , gave you a promotion, not because the bank approved you for a loan... it’s because it’s all in 'plan for our lives.
And a lot of times we need to be reminded of this, to be humbled, to be refer back to the root and guidance.
Until next time, my loves